Start a Fire...

It's appropriate to mention the book I'm about to mention because my office currently smells like burning.  Burning smell comes from fires.  This book is called The Fire Starter Sessions. 

Oooh Pretty...

A friend recommended this book to me.  Nine months later I purchased it.  One week later I read the intro.  Two weeks later it's still sitting on my nightstand staring at me. 

This isn't a story of someone (me) who doesn't finish things she starts.  I started and finished the Artist's Way in the six week time frame and completed every task.  This is a story of someone (me) who doesn't feel like thinking about anything.

I'm gonna get real for a minute.  

I am an extremely career-orientated gal.  Last year was the worst acting year I ever had.  I almost moved away from Chicago because I was tired of having a terrible year.  But as mom always says, "Make sure your running toward something, not away from something else."  This year has been a bit better, but still not ever what it was a couple of years ago.  This year got better because before it started, I made changes.  I changed my agent.  I changed my mindset.  I changed my focus.  I focused on the same things, just made the actual focus itself more optimistic and less "life sucks why isn't everything working out like it's supposed to*."

Now that this year is driving to a close I'm closer to feeling the same way as I did last year.  Down, annoyed and over everything I've chosen as a career.  Those pretty little words like "failure" and "wrong" and "lazy" just stream through my head ten times a day.  Deep down I know none of these words apply to me.  They are just louder than anything else right now.

Back to the book.

Sometimes you need something outside of your immediate life to give you guidance (ie: therapy, your mom, a trip to Spain, a new JoJo song**).  Sometimes you want to save money for a wedding and your mom lives in Texas, so you buy a book instead.  I will admit that I'm mostly afraid to start reading this book because I will have to face the fact that I am more than just an actor.  That there are more parts to me that want to be used for that 'ol career path.  That something else may make me just as happy.  I hopefully will find out soon.  Until then I'll stare at this book on my nightstand and keep telling myself to start it, for real. 

Side note: Don't think I've ruled out the fact that my "big break" is just around the corner. I'll always be that 4 year old that thinks anything can happen at anytime.  I just pay my own bills now.  

*Most useless phrase in the world. Never use it.

**Which does exist, check here. Nothing will ever top this one though.

Christmas...

...is coming.

You best believe I have already been listening to Christmas music. As I type this "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses is playing on my Christmas Spotify playlist that I made one week ago today.

Judge if you want. Get angry if you want. It's not even Thanksgiving and I'm already pretty far into the evergreen tree scented candle in my living room.  Christmas is my favorite.  This is also the first Christmas I will spend away from my blood family.  This year will just be me and my new family: Jandy the fiance and Riggins' the Wondermutt. Being away from my family is hard. My family likes each other and gets along. We enjoy each other's company. Thankfully I enjoy Jandy's company as well. 

Because this will be our first Christmas together, I'm extra excited about decorating a tree that's all my own.  I've held out these last 6 years.  I had a tiny cotton ball type tree for a couple of years that was destroyed in a storage unit.  This year enter: the real (fake) tree. There are a lot of choices when picking Christmas decor.  Red and green?  Sure.  But have you thought about purple and red?  Or better yet green and aqua?  Or what about an entire Christmas theme based around Basset Hounds?  All of these things are available to you.

Hi, I'm a Basset Hound Christmas Ornament.

I don't understand anger toward Christmas starting so early. I think people who are angry about Christmas decorations being sold November 1st are the same people who bitch and whine the day before Christmas because they didn't get anything for anyone yet and now have to wait in line for hours OR by the obviously last-minute e-gift card to Target* for their beloved.  They are probably the same people who ride the bus one stop. 

I've officially started Christmas in my heart. So should you.  Life's a lot happier when you put on White Christmas and sing along while drinking cider and decorating a tree. Try it.




*There is never a wrong time to give someone a gift card, let alone one to Target. Maybe that statement was a little harsh.

In Retrospect...

Hi, I'm Riggins.

Meet my adopted pup Riggins.  Just get it out of the way, Riggins is still alive and kicking.  Today is to commemorate two parts of Riggins that died today*, his balls.

Riggins balls were big and gross. There is no way around it.  They didn't cause too much marking.  They may or may not have caused lots of barking and roughhousing while taking daily walks.  Even with that, they are not missed.  They have had a good few years (2 yrs. 6 months to be exact).  I hope when they get to Doggy Ball Heaven they are welcomed with open arms by Ball Angels who actually like them.

R.I.P. Riggs' Balls. You are not missed....well, maybe by Riggins.



*More accurately they are being snipped as I type this.