Top Chef...

...is one of my favorite shows of all time. Why does this season SUCK?

This is only a few of them...because why even bother getting them all in one picture.

I have loved this show for years. This show has made me laugh, cry, and jump on my couch in rage/excitement.  This season I've fallen asleep watching every episode.  Kristen,  Brooke and Sheldon are the only three I care about*.  I can't explain it.  I can't. It's just not that interesting this year.

Maybe it's Seattle, or the return of Chef Josie's headband, or Padma and Tom's seemingly checked out attitude. I don't know. I just can't get joy from it.

Let's just watch Kristen, Brooke and Sheldon duke it out for 13 episodes.

Thanks.

*Cared about Danyele because of her personality, not necessarily food, but we all know how that turned out (Spoiler Alert).

We All Have...

...those moments where we play this song and pretend we're a career woman in an 80s movie who just had an awesome day at our job and left work just in time to meet the love of our life for dinner at a fabulous steak restaurant, right?

Or is that just me?

Start a Fire...

It's appropriate to mention the book I'm about to mention because my office currently smells like burning.  Burning smell comes from fires.  This book is called The Fire Starter Sessions. 

Oooh Pretty...

A friend recommended this book to me.  Nine months later I purchased it.  One week later I read the intro.  Two weeks later it's still sitting on my nightstand staring at me. 

This isn't a story of someone (me) who doesn't finish things she starts.  I started and finished the Artist's Way in the six week time frame and completed every task.  This is a story of someone (me) who doesn't feel like thinking about anything.

I'm gonna get real for a minute.  

I am an extremely career-orientated gal.  Last year was the worst acting year I ever had.  I almost moved away from Chicago because I was tired of having a terrible year.  But as mom always says, "Make sure your running toward something, not away from something else."  This year has been a bit better, but still not ever what it was a couple of years ago.  This year got better because before it started, I made changes.  I changed my agent.  I changed my mindset.  I changed my focus.  I focused on the same things, just made the actual focus itself more optimistic and less "life sucks why isn't everything working out like it's supposed to*."

Now that this year is driving to a close I'm closer to feeling the same way as I did last year.  Down, annoyed and over everything I've chosen as a career.  Those pretty little words like "failure" and "wrong" and "lazy" just stream through my head ten times a day.  Deep down I know none of these words apply to me.  They are just louder than anything else right now.

Back to the book.

Sometimes you need something outside of your immediate life to give you guidance (ie: therapy, your mom, a trip to Spain, a new JoJo song**).  Sometimes you want to save money for a wedding and your mom lives in Texas, so you buy a book instead.  I will admit that I'm mostly afraid to start reading this book because I will have to face the fact that I am more than just an actor.  That there are more parts to me that want to be used for that 'ol career path.  That something else may make me just as happy.  I hopefully will find out soon.  Until then I'll stare at this book on my nightstand and keep telling myself to start it, for real. 

Side note: Don't think I've ruled out the fact that my "big break" is just around the corner. I'll always be that 4 year old that thinks anything can happen at anytime.  I just pay my own bills now.  

*Most useless phrase in the world. Never use it.

**Which does exist, check here. Nothing will ever top this one though.

Christmas...

...is coming.

You best believe I have already been listening to Christmas music. As I type this "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses is playing on my Christmas Spotify playlist that I made one week ago today.

Judge if you want. Get angry if you want. It's not even Thanksgiving and I'm already pretty far into the evergreen tree scented candle in my living room.  Christmas is my favorite.  This is also the first Christmas I will spend away from my blood family.  This year will just be me and my new family: Jandy the fiance and Riggins' the Wondermutt. Being away from my family is hard. My family likes each other and gets along. We enjoy each other's company. Thankfully I enjoy Jandy's company as well. 

Because this will be our first Christmas together, I'm extra excited about decorating a tree that's all my own.  I've held out these last 6 years.  I had a tiny cotton ball type tree for a couple of years that was destroyed in a storage unit.  This year enter: the real (fake) tree. There are a lot of choices when picking Christmas decor.  Red and green?  Sure.  But have you thought about purple and red?  Or better yet green and aqua?  Or what about an entire Christmas theme based around Basset Hounds?  All of these things are available to you.

Hi, I'm a Basset Hound Christmas Ornament.

I don't understand anger toward Christmas starting so early. I think people who are angry about Christmas decorations being sold November 1st are the same people who bitch and whine the day before Christmas because they didn't get anything for anyone yet and now have to wait in line for hours OR by the obviously last-minute e-gift card to Target* for their beloved.  They are probably the same people who ride the bus one stop. 

I've officially started Christmas in my heart. So should you.  Life's a lot happier when you put on White Christmas and sing along while drinking cider and decorating a tree. Try it.




*There is never a wrong time to give someone a gift card, let alone one to Target. Maybe that statement was a little harsh.

In Retrospect...

Hi, I'm Riggins.

Meet my adopted pup Riggins.  Just get it out of the way, Riggins is still alive and kicking.  Today is to commemorate two parts of Riggins that died today*, his balls.

Riggins balls were big and gross. There is no way around it.  They didn't cause too much marking.  They may or may not have caused lots of barking and roughhousing while taking daily walks.  Even with that, they are not missed.  They have had a good few years (2 yrs. 6 months to be exact).  I hope when they get to Doggy Ball Heaven they are welcomed with open arms by Ball Angels who actually like them.

R.I.P. Riggs' Balls. You are not missed....well, maybe by Riggins.



*More accurately they are being snipped as I type this.

Serious Post #2...

Damn straight.

Serious Post #1...

Dear Every-Performer-of-Any-Kind-Everywhere-But-Moreso-the-Actor-ey-Kind,

Can we agree to not talk bad about each other in public? 

I mean really, can we agree to not talk bad about each other at all?  This one is harder and I'm not going to go on a soapbox about gossip because it's personally something I struggle with sometimes. We all do.  We're creatives.  We like dramatic energy.  It's in our DNA.

At the very least in public, let alone the waiting room of a casting office*, can we at least act like we're professional mature adults?

We're all in this together.  We all have good days but mostly bad days.  We all have a strange job where we make ourselves vulnerable to various people (directors, producers, casting directors, writers, other actors, the list goes on and on) on a regular basis. 

If you are sitting in a waiting area for an audition and see a friend, you should talk with them. You should relax and gab and remember what's important: our friends.

You should not proceed to talk negatively about another performer.  Most waiting rooms are quiet.  We can all hear you.  Chances are we also know that person to; at least some of us do.  It's just plain rude.  It's rude in any context but it's especially rude in an artisitc field where our person is our product.

Grow up. Get a hobby and talk about that. Don't be a douche-bag.

Your fellow actor friend,
Molly

*Yes, I watched this happen yesterday and was completely appalled.  

WARNING...

Maybe a message from the little man who lives in my brain?

Yes. I don't know either. At some point in my life I put a reminder on my calendar to not use the red line this coming Sunday. Here's the thing, I don't know know when or why I did this.

Some possible options are:

1) I'm crazy

2) I'm psychic

3) I red something in the Red Eye* about a music festival or visiting dignitary.

The truth is I'm probably crazy.  Lolla is over, as is that pesky NATO summit and most of it's protesters, so that last option doesn't seem to fit.

**Real time answer. I took a break to do some googling. The Cubs and Sox are both in town playing this weekend.  Could this be it?

Regardless, if I am psychic and the apocalypse happens, at least I'll be at Ikea for it.  I'm perfectly happy meeting my maker while eating a delicious Swedish meatball.



*See what I did there? Bad puns win everything.

In Memoriam...

Goodbye cruel desk

I moved desks today. My deskmate misses me.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...

...moving day.

I caved and hired movers for the first time in my life.  I'm really bad at hiring movers.

Know why?

I'm moving approx 1 1/2 blocks from where I currently live.  I've slowly moved over so much of my stuff that what you see in this instagramey pic is really all they will be moving, plus a dresser (not pictured). I'm paying someone else to do the work for me, yet I'm doing most of the work myself.

Know why?

Cause I'm cheap.  I'm so cheap it's disgusting.

This move means 2 things:

1) I'm moving in with The Jandiance for the first time. It's also the first time I will live with someone period. I've never even had roommates.

2) I'm now a landlord to what I'm sure is a nice boy who will not ruin anything in my condio and will leave it looking spotless and brand new when he leaves.

So much right now. I can't even think, compute, write, sing or read books with a clear head. It's great.  For real.  It's super exciting.  I'm really really excited.  New chapters of life are pretty much the best because they hold so much possibility and so much unknown.  I'm one of those people who thrives on not knowing what's going to happen all the time.  It's probably why I'm still an actor after all these years. 

To the great unknown and beyond!

Hey Landry...

 

This is in reference to last night's Breaking Bad. If you haven't seen it, I can't help you.

Dear Every Yoga, Bar Method, Pilates, Ya-Yalatis Studio in Chicago,

Hi. My name is Molly. I would love to take your classes and purchase monthly unlimited classes. However, I'm not made of money.  What is the big idea? Do you know how many people are going into debt taking your classes? I'm one of those people with no debt and I can't justify going into debt because of health/wellness classes. Please. Consider what you're asking.

Thanks,
Molly

SO Funny...

I saw the funniest thing today.  A group of teenagers in a super nice white Escalade (pearly white, like those fancy cars are) with all the windows rolled down blasting PORN noises.  It was so hilarious!

People really need to laugh at things like that because it's so funny.  Like, those boys deserve so much attention because of how funny they were.  So clever.  These kids today have so much of the clever gene it's insane.

Chicago Memories I Have...

My 6 year Chicagoversary is coming up Labor Day weekend. All of these things took place within the last 6 years:

1) Police concert at Wrigley Field.

2) Bought tickets at cost the day of the Police concert in front of the Borders on State street from a nice man who lived in the suburbs.

3) Rode in a cab wondering why all the smokers were outside one New Years at midnight and then realized Chicago had enacted the best law ever (no smoking in bars/restaurants).

4) Made a Thanksgiving dinner all by myself.

5) Opened up 5 mornings a week at the Starbucks at Clark/Belmont.

6) Taking my first adult vacation. To Miami.

7) Ran 5 miles in the snow.

8) Puked in a cab (sorry mom).

9) Lost my keys in that cab.

10) Discovered the power of small business.

11) Celebrated the arrival of Target (admittedly hypocritical).

12) First studio apartment.

13) Last (maybe) studio apartment. I say maybe because what if I'm forced to move to London/NYC with my someday husband and we can't afford anything else, duh.

14) Bought a condo.

15) Went to a therapy appointment on New Years Day with only 1 hours sleep (stupid).

16) Realized people drink way more than I thought they did.

17) Danced in a Mexican food restaurant.

18) Dogs.

19) Improv shows at midnight.

20) Washed pounds of chocolate "blood" from one show so I could watch anothe.

21) Bikram yoga.

22) Waxed my underarms (OW).

23) Cried after a pilot audition because I thought I was the worst actress to ever walk the planet and then booked it the same day.

24) Went on a date with a guy who used the word "ridic," not ironically.

25) Met Jandy.

Ok that's all.  I got sappy so I have to stop.

Dreams...

Thought:  If someone could transplant me to a tiny flat in London with a view of the back of some weird old building with the song April Come She Will by Karrin Allyson playing in the background, today would be perfect.  I'd just sit there, drink coffee and delay taking a shower.  Once that shower happens it would be time for me to meet some friends for dinner who I want to see but also want to blow off to stay home and stare out my window some more.

Instead I'll stare at this and do work.

MESSY DESK by Molly

Dear Cast of Modern Family,

    I'm sure you have very good reasons for this, but I ask that you remember one thing. All of you are working actors on a hit TV show that didn't get cancelled for next season. Some of us still have to work in an office 9 hours a day 5 days a week while praying we get to take a lunch break on Thursday so we can make it to a state lottery commercial audition.

Please be grateful.

Regards,
Molly.

Happy Bride...

A few posts ago I mentioned that I don't like sad bride pictures. That doesn't mean that I like all happy bride pictures.

"a Hahahah HAHA hahaha" - direct quote from model

She looks so happy she's floating!  Wonder what the direction was for this expression?

Oh, wait I know. There wasn't any direction.  This was a candid moment. The nervous model laughed at a dumb joke the photographer made because she wants to be remembered as "easy to work with*."





*been there, done that

Pluot...

Oh look at this! A new-to-me fruit that is 100% real fruit and not a strange combination of fruits made by men in a lab!  I just love nature and it's wonders!

Duvet...

I bought a duvet cover for my new home with Jand-iance (corrected spelling, thanks mom). It's one I had admired previously and just happened to go on sale, so of course that means I had to buy it.  Thankfully he approves.

Lunch...

Mmmm

This definitely fits into the whole "eating whole foods" thing I've been doing. I mean...berries are fruit.

OMG, WHEN IS THE WEDDING?...

JLo doing her wedding thing. I'm sure this photo is copywright Columbia pictures. Yes, I looked up the studio that produced The Wedding Planner.

So yeah...sometime in the near future I will be planning a wedding and then after that having a wedding and then oh yeah, be married forever and ever amen.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited. I am very excited! I love planning things. I love it. I like projects. My love of organizing and planning is the biggest reason why I probably shouldn't be an actor because actors (who are just actors) have to wait for projects whereas I love creating them (and also starring in them, cause I wrote them and I can do that).

I haven't actually started planning anything because the Jandy-iance (new name) and I don't even live together yet. First things first y'all.  Once our moves are done and settled we will have a grand old time partying and planning.

That being said, I've done a little wedding googling because I can.  It's no longer creepy for me to do so. As a single gal, if you sit at your desk at work or wearing your jammies in bed and google "weddings," it's weird. You're "lonely" and "pathetic" or "putting too much pressure on a relationship that is still so new" or "putting pressure on a relationship that is so old it should be over already but it's still hanging on like yogurt to the top of a yogurt lid."  I personally don't think these things, but the world does.

While googling I've seen some things I like and some things I don't.  Mostly I've seen things I don't understand.  I've started a list, not of things I want, but of things I could care less about:

Bridesmaids Hairstyles: ...who cares?  My friends are beautiful capable women who know their hair better than I do.  Why would I ever tell them how to wear it?  They are the professionals over themselves.

Bridesmaids Dresses: If I tell them what dress to buy they will never wear it again.  No matter how many times I tell myself, "that dress is cute and they could totally wear it again."  They won't.  They won't ever wear it again.  They should pick out a dress they will wear again.  This goes back to the whole, they are beautiful and capable and can dress themselves.

Favors:  You will never convince me that my family, friends and acquaintances will use this tiny vase and matchbook set with my initials on it.  They won't.  It will go in their purse or pocket.  They will forget it about it.  They will throw it away.  Then those thousands of dollars I've spent were just for me to feel better. To say, "Oh you're spending money on me, I should get you something."  The only "favor" to me that makes sense is if I wrote them all a personal note to say "Thank you for coming, it really meant a lot to me and Jandy-iance."  Which I will do in the form of thank you notes for my gifts or lack of gift.  This one will segue nicely into...   

Proper Gift Amount: Dear Friends and Family, I don't care how much money you give me. I don't care if you buy me something off my registry.  I don't care how much the Target gift card you bought me is for. I don't care. You're showing up to celebrate a big life moment for me. That's enough.

Sad Bridal Portraits: When you google this, you don't have to look up "sad bridal portrait." Just look up "bridal portrait."  You'll get enough sad ones. THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF OUR LIVES.

When trying to figure out where to go for dinner, my family was always a chorus of Idont'carewhateveryouwants. I came up with (or read somewhere) that if we figured out what we didn't want to eat first, then it narrowed down what we did want to eat. It seems I'm taking this approach with the wedding I will plan at some point.



*These are things personal to me. If you did these at your wedding I'm sure it was beautiful and it meant a lot. I'm in no way knocking your wedding.

This happened...

That's my grandma's ring y'all

So I haven't been doing much of anything lately except running around screaming "Oh yeah, oh yeah" over and over.

The fiance and I will be moving in together for the first time in a couple of months. Recent fianced conversation:

Fiance: So are you going to cook for me everyday now?
Me: I'll cook for you sometimes, sure.
Fiance: Cool. I'll kill all the bugs, sometimes.

Touche.

Music...

Is a huge part of my life. My dad is a musician. I'm a musician. My mom sings. It's a thing. So it's no surprise that I need to be listening to music for most of my day-job workday. Thankfully things like Pandora and Spotify exist because otherwise I'd spend my whole paycheck on iTunes.

That being said. Pandora is playing a game with me today. First it played a song from an album of Frank Sinatra covers done by WESTLIFE (I'm yelling this part).  Now, maybe I was the only 16 year old traipsing around Europe on a band trip listening to Westlife and you're wondering who they hell they are. This is who they are:

Westlife.

Also Westlife.

So apparently they branch out. 

Also on the Pandora block today, while listening to my Ella Fitzgerald station, these 2 artists played:

Cheers to my overuse of screen shots.

I had no idea John Mayer and Jamiroquai had so much in common with Ella Fitzgerald, let alone each other. Learn something new everyday I guess.

Also, you better believe that after I went googling for Swear It Again by Westlife I listened to it while typing this entire post. You're welcome.

The Absolute Worst Thing...

Wipe that stupid smile off your face alien man.

Film Jokes...

For film folks. Like me.

House Hunters IS FAKE?

Well YEAH. But if you're really watching House Hunters and believe that people only look at 3 houses before they decide to go into massive debt for something that may or may not give them monetary gain in return, you're a dummy. Sorry if that's harsh. But...you are.

House Hunters is my favorite obsession. Not because I enjoy the thrill of watching people buy houses. That's boring.

I enjoy looking at houses in different parts of the world and judging the people who are looking at them. I also enjoy playing a drinking game called "This closet is so big, but where are your clothes going to go honey?"  This is a game where you take a shot every time someone says, "This closet is so big, but where are your clothes going to go honey?" or the other popular variation, "This closet is so big, but where are MY clothes going to go honey?" followed by merry laughter. You'll take a total of 3 shots per episode, unless it's one of those weird ones where they look at an empty lot instead of a house.

Say you need more reasons to watch? I have some handy:

Dogs like this one.

 

 

People who name babies things like "Frost."

If you're reading a blog post or article about it being fake, just stop. There is a more important article you should be reading here.